You know what I miss?
I miss the rains in Mumbai.
I miss the shiny streets after a shower.
I miss the smell of damp smoke in rooms full of laughter, whispers, assorted music, bonding sessions.
I miss the abundance of everything but food and money.
I miss waking up to friends standing over you, trying to wake you up because there's a plan. What? A Plan? With no money? Impossible. Think again. We do have a plan.
I miss meeting new people at new places and mulling over whether I like them or not.
I miss sharing knowing looks and charming new girls with old stories.
I miss the intense feelings of fear, anger, confusion, regret and the tummy-churn that comes along with them.
I miss feeling intensely happy, unperturbed, part of a whole, euphoric.
I miss the bad reputation that I created.
I miss walking for half hour and then taking a rickshaw because I knew if I walked that much I'd have just the right amount of coins to pay the fare.
I miss living alone and smoking black in chhota rizlas that'd last me days at a time.
I miss the hunger cramps I'd get cos I hadn't eaten.
I miss taking the train from BO to C and back to kill a coupla hours.
I miss not taking phone calls from family and well wishers cos I was too stoned.
I miss being ridiculed for hours on end for the way I was living my life and then being told about my talents and virtues.
I miss being asked to sing all night.
I miss seeing the respect and admiration in peoples' eyes fall after each meeting because I didn't live up to their expectations.
I miss apologising without thinking twice and meaning it every single time.
I miss my shamelessness and callousness.
I miss my arrogance without having anything to be arrogant about.
I miss rationalising and sorting out situations in my head way before they even arose.
I miss trying to tell the perfect lie.
I miss eating alone at station dhabas.
I miss hanging out of the C Fast and taking in the sunset at Marine Lines.
I miss the endless glasses of Ganna juice I drank at every station that I went to.
I miss travelling ticketless and not getting caught.
I miss the irony of leading all my friends to cross the bridge, ticketless and being the only one caught out of 7.
I miss the reliving the photo albums of memory after an evening of pub and house hopping.
I miss going through my phone book to find someone whom I haven't already asked for a loan from..and not finding any.
I miss waiting for the 304 from Ghatkopar to Andheri, having a cigarette and masala chai.
I miss preparing to watch the Simpsons everyday at 6.
I miss wandering off to different places while reading a book.
I miss trying to resist the urge to call friends I was not talking to.
I miss not spending money on smokes, saving up for a Bombay sandwich washed down with a chilled mountain dew.
I miss feeling rejected when people didn't invite me when they went to nice places cos I didn't have the money.
I miss people who came in my life like angels and loved me for what I was.
I miss trying to con people into buying me a beer.
I miss trying to rekindle broken or strained relationships. Time heals everything.
I miss hiding from dhobis and panwallahs cos my credit line with them has gone from 0-600 in 3 days.
I miss losing myself in the music my walkman gave me.I still have it.
I miss long train journeys in 3rd class with nothing but my music, something to smoke and a packet of 50-50.
I miss working out how much I could spend on that train so as to have enough to pay the auto to get home.
I miss those times where I felt that there actually IS someone pulling the strings, after all.
I miss reaching home and breaking down, tired and relieved to have a roof over my head.
I miss the food reviews chechi used to take me to.
I miss the occasional phone call I got when I was all but alone.
I miss the simplicity of having no money.
I miss being told off.
I miss my country.
I miss my friends.
I miss my aunts and uncles whom I lost through distance and misunderstanding.
I look forward to reliving it all..
